A thought provoking article I'd like your opinions on

[Nanor]

Right, so on my lunch I was catching up on my fav blog called Vagenda Mag. It's a magazine for feminists someone linked me to on Twiter because of the mad name. I thought I'd read the first article. I'd like you to read it and then I pose you a question:

what the fuck lads​

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Am I the only one that thinks this lady has blown what happened out of proportion by several orders of magnitude? I wanna hear your thoughts.​

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x​

 

[Ronin Storm]

IMO, she's both correct, and whinging on the internet. The first is fine, the second is just whinging and probably should just be ignored.

No means no. It applies in a restaurant and it applies in the bedroom, whatever it is that you happen to fancy doing in either. But, then, we knew that already, right?

Still, given her restaurant scenario, I'd have asked once, then again a second time more firmly. A third time would depend on how hungry I was, but I'd probably just walk out after having the staff ignore my reasonable request twice, and never go back.

Relating the restaurant to prior bedroom related fumbles? That's just whinging. Or material for a separate blog post where she can go into detail how she'd screwed up on the basics of an S&M oriented relationship because she didn't know what she was doing. No means no there too, more so when it can get dangerous.

Or have I missed your angle of attack, here?

 

[Nanor]

I wholeheartedly agree that no means no but maybe the chef accidentally put olives in? I think that's infinitely more likely than the restaurant forcing them upon the girl. If you told me you were going to show me a blog where the author managed to draw a comparison between anal rape and olives I'd laugh.

 

[Ronin Storm]

Sure. Accidental olives are a distinct possibility. But victim-complex isn't exactly a surprise for a whinging blog, is it?

 

[Nanor]

"and would madam like the anal rape with the salad?"

 

[Zooggy]

Hey,

I don't think the post is about the events in the restaurant, but rather, about her previous relationship. I think the events in the restaurant are nothing more than a cue for her point, just as they were a cue for her epiphany.

Now, it happens that, to me, her point is entirely trivial and a total non-issue. That said, I concede that there may be idiots out there for whom that may not be the case. And because of that, those people need to be told, often, and violently, that they're wrong.

So, no, I don't think anything's blown out of any proportion. It's a perfectly reasonable blog post.

In fact, the only thing that annoys me (and it so royally annoys me) is that it should be a useless post, but because of a few morons out there, it's not.

Cheers,
J.

 

[Nanor]

I don't really think those morons would be reading a feminist blog though. It's a big old circle jerk is what it is. A woman complaining to other women about a time a man wouldn't take no for an answer. Who on that blog is gonna take an opposing stance to that article, either seriously or in a devil's advocate sense? Instead you get this crap where someone leaps on the opportunity to tell a story about themselves because of some unwanted olives.

Mad props to those hilarious menstruation jokes.

 

[Zooggy]

Hey,

S'true. Then again, the true added value of posts like that is not that a moron might read it, but that another victim might. Sometimes, it's all about not being alone and that's enough. Hey, I hear group therapy is a thing. Blogging is just the internet's DIY version.

Even better, though, is when a current victim reads it. Then, maybe they get a veil ripped from their eyes, or they find the strength to do something about it. That's a chance to actually make a difference in someone's life. Grantedly not a big chance, but small is still greater than zero.

I maintain, all in all, those sorts of posts are worth writing, worth reading, worth discussing (as we're doing ) and worth sharing.

Cheers,
J.

 

[Nanor]

I think if a victim was to read that and feel empowered then that's fantastic. My gripe is the writing of the blog. The reason for that story could have been told without that tenuous link to some olives a chef accidentally put in. It could have been without those two horrible menstruation jokes. My gripe is with how it's written and by extension who wrote it, not the message it's trying to send.