Afterlife!

[waterproofbob]

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven.
After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact. "Mary... Mary..."
Awestruck, Mary responds, "Is that you Fred?"
"Yes, I have come back like we agreed."
"Well, what is it like?"
Fred excitedly tells his tale, "Well, when I get up in the morning I have sex, then I have breakfast, then I have sex again, then I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice more, then I have lunch, then I have sex all afternoon and into the early evening, until bedtime. And, then, I start all over again the next day."
So happy Mary says, "Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven."
Fred replies, "Hell no, Mary, I'm a rabbit in Wiltshire!"

 

[[THN]Buffalo_Hunter]

Two nuns and their Mother Superior are killed in a car crash. They ascend to Heaven to find Saint Peter waiting at the gates.

"I'm afraid that to eneter Heaven, you have to answer a question."

To the first nun, he asks "Who was the first woman on Earth?"

"That's easy," replies the first nun. "It was Eve."

"Correct," replies Saint Peter, opening the gates to allow the nun to enter.

To the second nun, he asks "Where did Eve live?"

"The Garden of Eden?"

"Correct".

When he reaches the Mother Superior, Saint Peter says "Unfortunately, your question is a bit more difficult. What were the first words Eve said when she saw Adam?"

The Mother Superior thinks for a few seconds...."That's a hard one", she replies.

"How did you know that?" replies Saint Peter.