Tingham
In Cryo Sleep
The Hobbits slept. Titann and Midge took the two singles, with Bradley and Jamie taking the larger bed, with Brad insisting on taking the bed near the window, and constantly stealing the blanket. Midge and Titann heard some strange noises as they dozed off, but put this groaning down to too many beers or Rosé spritzers, and thought nothing of it.
As they slept, Masia and Woogle crept steadily over the cobbles of the town, their strange feet making distorted patterns in the rainwater, and leaving behind rainbow shimmers, as one might find in an oil slick. Animals fled before them, but a pair of beggars approached, dressed entirely in green, with two pots.
“Ah bedad sorr, my name is Glen. Will ya be givin me some money today sorr?” said one.
“Who are you” Said Woogle, arousal and distaste forming on his face.
“Have you seen a squirrel around here?” said Masia, whos mind was still on other things.
The other beggar was smaller, he looked up and spake thus in a high pitched squeak:
“We are your friendly leprechaun beggars, sorr. My name is Belfer and his name is Glen”.
“We require nothing from you” said Woogle, and so it was true.
“Apart from this squirrel” said Masia, with a strange hunger on his face, but oddly not a hunger for food. Woogle glanced at Masia, his various...vices were beginning to be a worry.
The two beggars looked shocked, their mouths opened in silent exclamations, but ones with nevertheless amusingly cheery accents.
“See here Glen, ya dont think, do ya that he has come at last?” said Belfer
“Top o the morning” said Glen. If this was an observation or an instruction, Woogle and Masia did not know, but the two beggars fled in the direction of the town walls screaming as they went:
“Bedad, the Haggis, it be comin for us”.
Midge opened his eyes. Something was wrong, very wrong. Everyone else was sleeping comfortably, if a little coldly. Bradley and Jamie seemed to have been forced to keep together for warmth. He looked around the room, then sat up quickly. A soggy squirrel hit him across the face.
“Ah yah bastard little man, ye. Yah looky ah had'nae lit it. Tw'as already damp when ah GOT to the fucker” Said the strange man. Midge could not see him in the gloom, but could hear a strange muttering.
“Who are you? Its not me you want! Bradley is over there!” He said
“I be comin for all yoo little hairy bastards!” Said the man.
“Gosh” said Midge “All of us, are you sure?”
The other hobbits awoke and rose. They wandered around and, in Jamies case, looked for their pants.
“Now yoo listen to me, you hairy little bastards! I dunnae know whats happened to that fat bastard of an owl, but were going all tha way to bloody Astranaar to see Razaak, he will take that damn bracer of yeh and we can all git on with our lives, okay?” Said the man.
“Okay” said Midge, “Thats where we were going anyway”.
“BRING ON THE TRUMPETS” shouted Jamie, as Bradley struggled to walk.
“Aye, the noo” said the man “And mah name, MAH NAME!, is Tuldur. Dont ye little wee furry shits be forgetting noo, yeh hear?”
And with that, they left Crossroads and set off.
As they slept, Masia and Woogle crept steadily over the cobbles of the town, their strange feet making distorted patterns in the rainwater, and leaving behind rainbow shimmers, as one might find in an oil slick. Animals fled before them, but a pair of beggars approached, dressed entirely in green, with two pots.
“Ah bedad sorr, my name is Glen. Will ya be givin me some money today sorr?” said one.
“Who are you” Said Woogle, arousal and distaste forming on his face.
“Have you seen a squirrel around here?” said Masia, whos mind was still on other things.
The other beggar was smaller, he looked up and spake thus in a high pitched squeak:
“We are your friendly leprechaun beggars, sorr. My name is Belfer and his name is Glen”.
“We require nothing from you” said Woogle, and so it was true.
“Apart from this squirrel” said Masia, with a strange hunger on his face, but oddly not a hunger for food. Woogle glanced at Masia, his various...vices were beginning to be a worry.
The two beggars looked shocked, their mouths opened in silent exclamations, but ones with nevertheless amusingly cheery accents.
“See here Glen, ya dont think, do ya that he has come at last?” said Belfer
“Top o the morning” said Glen. If this was an observation or an instruction, Woogle and Masia did not know, but the two beggars fled in the direction of the town walls screaming as they went:
“Bedad, the Haggis, it be comin for us”.
Midge opened his eyes. Something was wrong, very wrong. Everyone else was sleeping comfortably, if a little coldly. Bradley and Jamie seemed to have been forced to keep together for warmth. He looked around the room, then sat up quickly. A soggy squirrel hit him across the face.
“Ah yah bastard little man, ye. Yah looky ah had'nae lit it. Tw'as already damp when ah GOT to the fucker” Said the strange man. Midge could not see him in the gloom, but could hear a strange muttering.
“Who are you? Its not me you want! Bradley is over there!” He said
“I be comin for all yoo little hairy bastards!” Said the man.
“Gosh” said Midge “All of us, are you sure?”
The other hobbits awoke and rose. They wandered around and, in Jamies case, looked for their pants.
“Now yoo listen to me, you hairy little bastards! I dunnae know whats happened to that fat bastard of an owl, but were going all tha way to bloody Astranaar to see Razaak, he will take that damn bracer of yeh and we can all git on with our lives, okay?” Said the man.
“Okay” said Midge, “Thats where we were going anyway”.
“BRING ON THE TRUMPETS” shouted Jamie, as Bradley struggled to walk.
“Aye, the noo” said the man “And mah name, MAH NAME!, is Tuldur. Dont ye little wee furry shits be forgetting noo, yeh hear?”
And with that, they left Crossroads and set off.
