[DF] 2.0 year 3

[Ghostwolf67]

I ride towards my fortress atop a goat, gleeful at what mighty fortress I am to take command of. I size it up once there. Its not a bad hole in the ground, all things considered. But there’s far too much happiness. It sickens me.

6th Granite- I revise my early prognosis immediately when told there is no beer. The inherent lack of farms, farmers and brewers who aren’t weaving baskets is almost dire. “We can drink the water though…” a dwarf pipes up from the back. I make a note of his name on the terrible punishments list.

I try to search for our carpentry dwarves but cant find them. I then stumble across them outside cutting down trees. After failing to explain in detail why this is bad to them i bust out the finger puppets and act out the goblin ambushers murdering them savagely and then all the other dwarves being sad now no one can quickly build them beds, barrels and bins. I tell them that one dwarf must be the carpenter who everyone loves for his prowess and one of them must be the woodcutter who dies horribly for the cause. They rock, paper, scissors for it.

A weaver and a gem setter are warriors of a higher calibre than any man drafted so far. Their reasons for shirking their military duty is a burning love of making trinkets. I proclaim making trinkets second by a small margin to general asskicking and draft them, also 2 dwarves know the subtle art of the crossbow and I forge a new marksdwarf squad.

The outside air smells distinctly like goblins and murder. I order mighty walls to be built in honour of this.

 

[Xarlaxas]

So, how did Big D have control of the fortress and *not* start over-producing Rum?

This low alcohol situation needs to be addressed before the Dwarves die of intense apathy!

Good to hear about the Weaver and Gem setter being given proper work to do though!

 

[Ronin Storm]

Ah, but tee-total Trax had the fortress for an entire year. Enough time to run down the rum stocks that could have been created at the fortress' inception.

 

[Xarlaxas]

Dang it Trax! I barely drink yet I know the importance of keeping the Dwarves drunk! They're like Futurama robots, not enough alcohol and they go into hibernation.

 

[Ghostwolf67]

20th of Granite. -The manager dwarf storms in and demands i build him an office. I tell him that after he's ridden a goat bareback for 3 weeks from the mountain homes to command a legion of layabouts and meatshields he can demand things from me. He replies by telling me theres a giant outside.

...

I peer out from my hole at the giantess Tayo Ferameanova Ifatha Iwe as she stomps trees and livestock only a stones throw from the underground cavern entrance. Shes a being of unparalleled size. Our walls are no where near mighty enough or built yet to pose an obstacle to her and even if they were i dont know if they could stop her. Surely she could just you know, step over. I tell the manager that if we live he'll get his office.

...

 

[Ronin Storm]

Yeah, see, I did some research on the giant, courtesy of a link from Trax.

Two notable flags:

[SEMIMEGABEAST]

Yes, this thing isn't pissing about. But that's not what really worries me:

[BUILDINGDESTROYER:2]

Now, any building destroyer is bad. See the number at the end? Well, type 1's aren't cuddly but at least they're not crazed building smashing fiends. Type 2's? Ah, yeah, they smash buildings. Like crazed fiends.

Flee to the caves?

 

[BiG D]

They won't smash walls.

Edit: And assuming Trax didn't fuck up the military too much, the guys I set training shouldn't have much trouble taking care of the situation.

 

[Traxata]

I only increased the number of AxeDwarves There were only ever two training at one time, I increased that number to 10. they all have armour to some degree, but I think some don't quite have all the necessary equipment

We've had plenty of trolls already, who I have witnessed smashing rock walls down to cause lake flooding at our entrance...

Trolls are also BuildingDestroyer:2

 

[Xarlaxas]

*ahem* We're doooooooooooooomed sir! Dooooooooooooomed!

 

[Zooggy]

Hey,

Careful about setting 100% of the dwarves to training. If you do, they never come out of training to eat, drink and sleep, even if they have flasks and backpacks.

No more than about 80% of each squad's size should be training, or they'll start dying of thirst and hunger...

Cheers,
J.

 

[Xarlaxas]

Really? Meep. I'll need to have a look at how to do training schedules, presuming the entire military hasn't been sorted out/we're not all dead before my turn comes. Hehe.

 

[BiG D]

Yeah, this would be why only two of the three were set to train...

And no, trolls were not destroying walls. Doors, maybe?

 

[Traxata]

Troll smashed apart a single block that was holding a lake behind a wall, I had no miner dwarves in the area, and no designations set, yet the water came a-pouring out the wall!

 

[BiG D]

Let's think of it this way: either we have enemies ignoring the game's code, OR trax did something dumb. I'll leave it up to the reader to decide

 

[Ghostwolf67]

5th Slate. After standing around intimidating from afar, the giantess Tayo Ferameanova Ifatha Iwe let out a bestial cry and smashed down the doors that blocked off the underground caverns. This had 3 profound effects.

1) Two trolls immediately poured out from the newly opened caverns.
2) All our dwarves went mad with lust for shiny things and decided to try to run to the caverns to pilfer now that they were open.
3) I facepalm.

Seeing the imminent danger of death due to ill-timed cave looting I declare martial law and bind all fetch and carry dwarves to the burrow. The only people exempt from this are the Masons who are hurrying feverishly to finish the wall and the military who are all filling out life insurance forms.

…

The attack finally comes as the door I put at the end of the trench explodes and through the opening appears the trolls and then the giant. The trolls are killed almost instantly in a flurry of axeblades and flying limbs. The giantess punches someone down to the ground so he loses the ability to stand then axedwarves mob and neatly carve up the giants shins so she falls into the moat and drowns. Whew. I begrudgingly give the ok stamp to a managers office.

…

During the battle we get a caravan of 18 dwarves which boosts out population to 77. I ok the further construction of more dwarf rooms. Our idler total also shoots up to a staggering 30. I double up on all buildings to make the most of our skilled dwarves and finally get around to building those farms. I end martial law as the wall is finally built to my satisfaction. Now rest.

 

[Ronin Storm]

Nice work! I thought we were totally done for!

 

[Ghostwolf67]

24th of Slate- One of our wall building masons is possessed! Luckily he actually makes something useful rather than going mental. Also the axedwarf who took a beating from the giant has been diagnosed as having a smashed lower spine and needs major surgery and lots of aid. I’m not holding a lot of hope for him so I fire him from the militia and replace him. Idlers are down to 1 or 2 now.

I’m woken in the night by ghosts haunting the fortress and stealing peoples socks. I look into the recent history tomes and find out a dwarf died in the construction of the brook to fortress pipeline and his body still remains there. Will have to build a memorial to him soon before things go all poltergeist on us.

 

[Ghostwolf67]

13th of Galena- Since the heavy attack from giants and trolls its been an uneventful summer. A human caravan arriving has been the most exciting thing to happen and even then… Still, no constant battles and threats means that work on the fortress can continue. I’ve finished the mighty wall with which to hide behind, it even has archer watchtowers for our marksdwarves overlooking the front drawbridge. I’ve added alerts that will make the archers man them as well.

Expanded many of the stock piles as they became very full very quickly (namely wood and food). Made some bigger and better noble rooms for our pampered aristocracy and smoothed them all off. We got another caravan of 7 dwarves bringing our population to 84. And finally someone with the engraving skill to put that damn soggy ghost to rest.

 

[Ronin Storm]

Almost looks like we might make it through another year...

 

[Xarlaxas]

Don't jinx it!

I'm still expecting at least 40-50 dead dwarves for me to bury when it comes to my turn.