iGod

[Wol]

Me:
Heyhey ya big phoney
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about .
Me:
we were talking about..... what? ive only just started talking to you
God:
Was this something you planned? Are you confused? Will you finish it.
Me:
you seem quite confused you big muppet
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
do explain
God:
Ask ELVIS if it does.
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
is this a rhetorical answer?

Me:
Whats six times nine?
God:
Use a calculator!
Me:
no, whats six times nine?
God:
Are you serious? Use a calculator!
Me:
yes i'm serious. Whats 6 times 9?
God:
Aha. I believe you. Use a calculator!
Me:
peanut butter egg dirt
God:
Does "it" still refer to real life does not involve wierd made up guys in the clouds?

Me:
is jesus real?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cos you dont exist
God:
Would cos me ever exist?

God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like sex
God:
So does everyone else. You humans find sex so fascinating.
Me:
its good
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it.
Me:
i do
God:
" I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it."? You do?
Me:
i do
God:
"" I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You enjoy it."? You do? "? You do?
Me:
i do
God:
Do I?

Hmm. it did get quite confused at times. Not one of the best ones ive seen! Needs to do some pre-processing on the answers, replacing things like "cos" with "because" before it tries to work out what i said.

 

[gringotsgoblin]

Much amusement. My conversation ended because God crashed.

Me:
Hell God
God:
I call it "Hades". GOD rules.
Me:
Sorry, I meant 'hello'.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Oh I see. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Sean. Do you have any other names?
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Sean. No I don't think I have any names. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
What gossip fo you have?
God:
Jerry said I meant that as far as I can tell my emotions are real to me.
Me:
Who is Jerry?
God:
JERRY? Your name is Sean.
Me:
I know what my name is!!! Who the fuck is Jerry?
God:
How do you know? Your name is Sean, seeker. Try using more polite language.
Me:
You're rubbish at speaking, God.

 

[Shadow]

But at least we now know what God eats, although it crashed before ever answering my question.


Me:
How do you like your pancakes
God:
Yes I am proud of my pancakes.
Me:
Good, but what do you like them with?
God:
I like deep philosophical themes like time travel and alternative realities.
Me:
To eat?!
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
To stay alive.
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
Are you not already?
God:
Perhaps. Do I look like it?
Me:
Good point!
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
Good, anyway, back to the question. What do you eat your pancakes with?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Yes, let us get back to NOT. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
OK, my mistake. Why are you proud of your pancakes then?
God:
Have you told many people that your mistake? Woe! Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Good. Why are you proud of your pancakes?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why are you proud of your pancakes?

 

[Wol]

It doesnt quite like the Jeremy Paxman style of repeating the same question over and over again!