In the locker room, before the match, Coach Ronin squats before his team of brave and mighty Orcs, all still looking rather chastened from their match against the Dwarves in the previous week.
"Look, lads, it was simple. Yer just weren't ready for the Dwarves 'cause yer roster was made to fight the quicker teams. See how yer did against the Skaven? That's how it was supposed to be. Yer needed some Black Orcs on yer side and there weren't any to be had. We've nearly got the gold we need to recruit one so just hang in there for one more match and yer'll be fine."
The Orcs of Green 'n' Mean nodded sagely, though a pair of linesmen at the back of the room were still confused and the Troll was busy chowing on a leg of lamb.
Rolling out onto the pitch, they knew that their line was all there'd be. 11 Orcs versus 12 Lizards. A frightening line-up it was too. Saurus everywhere the eye could see, with a towering Kroxigor in the centre, albeit slightly maimed from some previous run-in.
Orcs kicked and the ball went beautifully deep, just shy of the endzone. The Troll, specially dosed on special Troll vitamins, had an amazingly sharp look about him and proceeded to hold the line with his fellow linesmen with great effectiveness. Even so, the Saurus pressed in on all sides.
The line held raggedly even as a Skink swooped up on the right and readied to burst through. Skink receivers pushed into the backfield, easily dodging through the smallest of holes. Saurus beat against the Orc D-line, block after block landing and altogether too many ending in stunned players staring at the boiling sky.
The Saurus line pressed forward, but the Troll was having none of it. Pushing from the side, just a small hole appeared in the Lizardman line. The Blitzer, Frakk N'fragg, saw his chance and slammed through the hole into the carrying Skink, knocking the ball loose but not quite managing to keep hold of it.
Ball on the floor, both teams rushed to lay claim to it with the Lizardmen throwing off the brave Orc blitz but somehow failing to keep hold of the ball. Not to be put down, Blitzer Rokk 'Ard dives up from the floor and pushes back in. Back and forth the blocks are thrown, neither team quite making it to the ball with many hands snatching into a desperate ruck.
The middle of this ruck turned out to be no place for a Skink, smacked into the dirt and out for the game. A third Orc Blitzer, K'nak Defist, dived in, backing his comrades, and took the ball for himself. Could this be a defensive recovery?
No sooner than he straightens, looking for an exit, than he is surrounded by three Saurus and the Kroxigor. "Oh crap," K'nak thinks to himself then sees the Troll wading in from one side. No choice, he looks for a hand-off to Frakk but a long Saurus claw knocks the ball free.
The Saurus pile on, trying to clear some space, but one fails to take account of the vitamin-fuelled Troll and promptly collapses with a serious case of jaw-through-brain: stone cold dead.
The Troll isn't fast enough to stop a speedy Skink, though, who streams away with the ball into the backfield. It's not clear quite what happened next, though, as the speeding Skink seems to trip over its own tail and falls face first into the dirt.
The whistle blows on a scoreless half.
With Orcs now to receive, they prepare themselves for an 11 on 10 drive, one less Saurus to contend with. The ball is kicked to the weaker flank and the Orcs cluster towards it, Blitzers ready to punch a hole. Unfortunately, the vitamins had worn off for Greenbelly the Troll and he stares dimly at the Kroxigor, not quite sure where he was.
Zan Longtooth nestled the ball close to his Orcish chest. Even weakened, he realised, the Lizardmen D-line was still deadly strong. It would take a concerted effort to break through. He audibles for a pass option and Mugs, the Goblin, and one of the Linesmen push down the opposite flank to give him options. Caged behind his trusty Blitzers, his most experienced tackle prepared to intercept incoming Skinks, the Orc line presses slowly forward.
Weakened by the pass option, a Skink and a Saurus press the side of the pocket getting up into Zan's face but the Lizards' gain is short lived as the Blitzers throw them to the floor without mercy. Zan sees the Lizard blitz pushing him into the sideline and decides on a sideslip, pulling a new pocket around him as he rushes back to the centre.
Mugs streaks down the field waving arms frantically for the pass but this only seems to attract the attention of the Kroxigor. Zan yells for the pass as his new pocket is pressed hard and Mugs screams that he's ready and totally misses the Kroxigor's giant tail. Ball and spikes strike the unfortunate Goblin full in the face, putting him straight to hospital. Zan rolls his eyes in dismay just in time to see the sack knocks the ball from his hands.
One Saurus grabs for it, then fumbles. Then another. Then another. Then yet another. The ball flies free from the ruck, landing in open space and another Skink goes down as it tries to dodge around the ruck and get to the ball, this one with a fractured skull, courtesy of Greenbelly's foot.
Both lines in tatters, the Orcs manuever for best advantage, guarding the ball. Zan, now far remove from the ball, is reduced to screaming orders over the shoulders of towering Saurus. One last chance, one last play.
Frakk is on the wing, marked only by a Skink. With an elbow, he puts the Skink to the floor and then screams down field at maximum speed. Yuk Brown, tackle extraordinaire, scoops up the ball, protected by his linesman comrades, and sweeps to the other side of the field, looking for the winning pass.
The crowd begins to roar. They see the final play coming in. From one flank, Yuk Brown with the ball. From the other, Frakk N'fragg on the reception. It's a gutsy, hail mary play, but it just might work.
Caught up cheering for his team mates, K'nak Defist takes a block to the side and is carried off pitch moments later with a fractured leg. Something about an Orc screaming distracts Yuk for just long enough for the Kroxigor to get in his face but he goes for the pass anyway... and stunningly the Kroxigor takes it out of the air! An interception from a Kroxigor? Almost unheard of, yet there it was and the beast slams down field with the ball in one giant claw.
Only the whistle prevents disaster. 0-0 draw.
After the match, Frakk is said to have soundly kicked Yuk for screwing up what could have been a most amazing pass and score, but a draw against a brutal line up wasn't too bad after all.
