I, by the Power of Jesus, veto Waterproofbob's vote against Twisto!
As the Almighty Lordeth say, turn thine other cheek.
I shall now perform an impromtu mass, complete with numerations for ease of reference, dedicated to all illegal aliens.
Job
1:1 There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job. That man was blameless and upright, and one who feared God, and turned away from evil. 1:2 There were born to him seven sons and three daughters. 1:3 His possessions also were seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen, five hundred female donkeys, and a very great household; so that this man was the greatest of all the children of the east. 1:4 His sons went and held a feast in the house of each one on his birthday; and they sent and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them. 1:5 It was so, when the days of their feasting had run their course, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my sons have sinned, and renounced God in their hearts.” Job did so continually.
1:6 Now it happened on the day when God’s sons came to present themselves before Yahweh, that Satan also came among them. 1:7 Yahweh said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Then Satan answered Yahweh, and said, “From going back and forth in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.”
1:8 Yahweh said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant, Job? For there is none like him in the earth, a blameless and an upright man, one who fears God, and turns away from evil.”
1:9 Then Satan answered Yahweh, and said, “Does Job fear God for nothing? 1:10 Haven’t you made a hedge around him, and around his house, and around all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his substance is increased in the land. 1:11 But put forth your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will renounce you to your face.”
1:12 Yahweh said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your power. Only on himself don’t put forth your hand.”
So Satan went forth from the presence of Yahweh. 1:13 It fell on a day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house, 1:14 that there came a messenger to Job, and said, “The oxen were plowing, and the donkeys feeding beside them, 1:15 and the Sabeans attacked, and took them away. Yes, they have killed the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you.”
1:16 While he was still speaking, there also came another, and said, “The fire of God has fallen from the sky, and has burned up the sheep and the servants, and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you.”
1:17 While he was still speaking, there came also another, and said, “The Chaldeans made three bands, and swept down on the camels, and have taken them away, yes, and killed the servants with the edge of the sword; and I alone have escaped to tell you.”
1:18 While he was still speaking, there came also another, and said, “Your sons and your daughters were eating and drinking wine in their eldest brother’s house, 1:19 and behold, there came a great wind from the wilderness, and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young men, and they are dead. I alone have escaped to tell you.”
1:20 Then Job arose, and tore his robe, and shaved his head, and fell down on the ground, and worshiped. 1:21 He said, “Naked I came out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. Yahweh gave, and Yahweh has taken away. Blessed be the name of Yahweh.” 1:22 In all this, Job did not sin, nor charge God with wrongdoing.
2:1 Again it happened on the day when the God’s sons came to present themselves before Yahweh, that Satan came also among them to present himself before Yahweh. 2:2 Yahweh said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered Yahweh, and said, “From going back and forth in the earth, and from walking up and down in it.”
2:3 Yahweh said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? For there is none like him in the earth, a blameless and an upright man, one who fears God, and turns away from evil. He still maintains his integrity, although you incited me against him, to ruin him without cause.”
2:4 Satan answered Yahweh, and said, “Skin for skin. Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. 2:5 But put forth your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will renounce you to your face.”
2:6 Yahweh said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your hand. Only spare his life.”
2:7 So Satan went forth from the presence of Yahweh, and struck Job with painful sores from the sole of his foot to his head. 2:8 He took for himself a potsherd to scrape himself with, and he sat among the ashes. 2:9 Then his wife said to him, “Do you still maintain your integrity? Renounce God, and die.”
2:10 But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?”
In all this Job didn’t sin with his lips. 2:11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come on him, they each came from his own place: Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and to comfort him. 2:12 When they lifted up their eyes from a distance, and didn’t recognize him, they raised their voices, and wept; and they each tore his robe, and sprinkled dust on their heads toward the sky. 2:13 So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.
AMEN!
May God Bless all of you.
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